Beginning to like trains more and more; there is just something special about the immobility of the observer who is transfixed on the dynamic whizzing away of the foreground superimposed on a static background. Relativity I suppose? What a pity it is to be the one to enjoy such a beautiful sight, marred only by the darkness of night. Yet the economic rationale behind it fully justifies this choice as the wiser one. Do not worry that travel will eventually burn me out; I somehow would imagine the expenses will be more problematic, but isn’t it always the case. Haha. But, yes, we do get plenty of rest, because it really is too cold to go out at night even to walk around, and the shops close extremely early, so we often have an early night. On the 14 hour train ride, from Paris to Rome, I did what most people do in such situations. Look out and think. Admidst reading “the injured and insulted”, dozing off and enjoying the magnificent black view, I awoke to see the countryside of Italy pass me by. With a backdrop of snow-capped mountains, and huddles of sheep whizzing by, I thought.

Probably it is not the first time I have thought about this subject. I do not really think I have achieved much in life up till now as a 24 year old and it really is starting to hit me. I recall back to primary school and see who I was, and what I thought I can achieve as compared to my peers. Where they were and where they are now. The difference is vast, gapingly vast. Clement Goh Ren Hao, a Singapore karate champion, who used to be the smallest and shortest guy in class. Tay Yu Yan, avid traveller, part of Team Ang Ku Kueh who is participating in the Mongol Race to race money for charity. Tay Yang Shun, the guy who excels in anything he wants to and probably future Silicon Valley future. These are people that are ‘googleable’, which really speaks much.

I know I have a university education, but what I am really driving at, ironically, is that I do not have a goal; I do not have something that drives me. Not yet. That is pretty appalling as over the years I keep telling myself, that day will come when I find out what I really want to do, but like all things, waiting does not achieve anything. Ever since I was 12 and attended City Harvest, the first service of the year for the church is always the same sermon, the one that reminds us to plan for our year ahead with only one point that sums it up; if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. That is just it; I do not have a plan. Even if I do have one at the spur of the moment, it probably fizzes out real quick and I only have myself to blame for having the discipline of a child. It is not that I cannot, but really there is no drive. Pathetic.

I got to get things straightened out, because this is really pissing me off.

Poland seems a good place to start.

Even with this fervor, procrastination rears its head.


on a totally unrelated topic. Speed and pleasure may not be mutually exclusive. The essence of speed in certain situations may jack up the total amount of pleasure by substantial amount, based on the individual. More often than not, the speed is due to the risk of being caught which heightens pleasure insurmountably. Then again, of course there are other cases of speed which defunct the pleasure factor making things mundane; wanting to just get it over with. Really, it depends on the situation. =D.