"It seemed to me that she was lacerating her own wounds on purpose, feeling a need to do so - feeling a need for despair and suffering... And how often this happens with a heart that has suffered great loss!"

Oh the irony, the paradoxical existence of happiness lying within sadness. "Even torment from him is happiness". Most of us are guilty of such actions, myself included; to not try and forget or salve our wounds, be it sadness, anger or bitterness towards another, but rather seeking egoistic gratification in intensifying the pain. "lacerating her own wounds on purpose - feeling a need to do so - feeling a need for despair and suffering." We seek the temporal satisfaction of wallowing in our own problems at the same time delaying the true joy that lies ahead. Often hiding behind excuses of fear, yet it actually is shame. Our ego, unable to face up to our mistakes or accept the truth.

Until it ends up in this.

"'Vanya, why did I destroy your happiness?' And in her eyes I read, 'We could have been happy together forever.'"

It was a very good read. Not philosophical, not too complicated, just nice to start me off into his other books. It was definitely heart-wrenching.

So maybe its possible to tear over a book.


"But you're a poet, and I'm a simple man, and therefore I will say that one must look at things from the simplest, most practical point of view. I, for instance, have long since freed myself from all shackles, and even obligations. I only recognize obligations when I see I have something to gain by them. You, of course, can't look at things that way; your legs are in fetters and your taste is morbid. You long for the ideal, for virtue. Well my friend, I am ready to accept anything you command me to accept, but what am I to do if I know for a fact that at the root of all human virtues lies the profoundest egoism? And the more virtuous anything is, the more egoism there is in it. Love yourself - that's the one rule i recognize"

Fyodor Dostoevsky


I for one, agree with it. As a simple man, one should and will look at things from the simplest and most practical point of view. Alas, the world we live in is not simple, and neither are the people that dwell upon it.