Turkey in raspberry beer sauce, Rabbit with beer sauce, different percentages of absinthe, medieval castles, comic art museum, huge chocolate pissing boy, extremely pretty bar girl and best of all, living on a boat! Belgium is so much fun! =D

Have to remind myself, 积少成多

a little now, goes a long way in the long run.

Beginning to like trains more and more; there is just something special about the immobility of the observer who is transfixed on the dynamic whizzing away of the foreground superimposed on a static background. Relativity I suppose? What a pity it is to be the one to enjoy such a beautiful sight, marred only by the darkness of night. Yet the economic rationale behind it fully justifies this choice as the wiser one. Do not worry that travel will eventually burn me out; I somehow would imagine the expenses will be more problematic, but isn’t it always the case. Haha. But, yes, we do get plenty of rest, because it really is too cold to go out at night even to walk around, and the shops close extremely early, so we often have an early night. On the 14 hour train ride, from Paris to Rome, I did what most people do in such situations. Look out and think. Admidst reading “the injured and insulted”, dozing off and enjoying the magnificent black view, I awoke to see the countryside of Italy pass me by. With a backdrop of snow-capped mountains, and huddles of sheep whizzing by, I thought.

Probably it is not the first time I have thought about this subject. I do not really think I have achieved much in life up till now as a 24 year old and it really is starting to hit me. I recall back to primary school and see who I was, and what I thought I can achieve as compared to my peers. Where they were and where they are now. The difference is vast, gapingly vast. Clement Goh Ren Hao, a Singapore karate champion, who used to be the smallest and shortest guy in class. Tay Yu Yan, avid traveller, part of Team Ang Ku Kueh who is participating in the Mongol Race to race money for charity. Tay Yang Shun, the guy who excels in anything he wants to and probably future Silicon Valley future. These are people that are ‘googleable’, which really speaks much.

I know I have a university education, but what I am really driving at, ironically, is that I do not have a goal; I do not have something that drives me. Not yet. That is pretty appalling as over the years I keep telling myself, that day will come when I find out what I really want to do, but like all things, waiting does not achieve anything. Ever since I was 12 and attended City Harvest, the first service of the year for the church is always the same sermon, the one that reminds us to plan for our year ahead with only one point that sums it up; if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. That is just it; I do not have a plan. Even if I do have one at the spur of the moment, it probably fizzes out real quick and I only have myself to blame for having the discipline of a child. It is not that I cannot, but really there is no drive. Pathetic.

I got to get things straightened out, because this is really pissing me off.

Poland seems a good place to start.

Even with this fervor, procrastination rears its head.


on a totally unrelated topic. Speed and pleasure may not be mutually exclusive. The essence of speed in certain situations may jack up the total amount of pleasure by substantial amount, based on the individual. More often than not, the speed is due to the risk of being caught which heightens pleasure insurmountably. Then again, of course there are other cases of speed which defunct the pleasure factor making things mundane; wanting to just get it over with. Really, it depends on the situation. =D.

Its been almost a week in France. Cold, Wet and Cold. Nonetheless, its still been exciting as ever. The only wish I have will be to have unlimited resources so as to spend whenever necessary. Its not that I want to splurge on good stuff or food, its just good to know you have the financial backing of your OWN. Hate having to take money from my dad.

Through this week, I've been through 4 days of snowing non-stop. Its really pointless to say my eyes have seen so much more of the world, because isn't that what this trip is suppose to be about? I've seen snow, big and small. I've trudged through a snowstorm at Orly Airport, trying to find a place to stay for the night. Of course, and so much more, I will just let my photos do the talking for me.

As the snow clears out, our chances of leaving Paris is increasing with time. Its definitely time to move on to a new city.

Stepping into the cathedral, calm like a cold draft, descends. The voluminous space coupled with the bouncing echoes evoke a low chant-like hum bringing about an eerie sense of peace.

The empty rows beckons to the lone visitor, who sits and turns to face a downcast Jesus Christ upon the cross; to whom he utters a short prayer.

Not really a believer, yet not quick to discard the idea of belief; caught in the middle of sorts.

Before long, hours passed; he cannot deny feeling the yolk of burden slowly lifting. Up, up, gone, *poof*.

As it was time to go, he picks himself up, dusting off his coat. He is unnerved by the lightness of his shoulders; with a shrug, he carries on.

need i say more?

If what I felt entering Seville cathedral was peace, there definitely was none of that in Sagrada Familia.

Swept away in awe, the majestic feel of the hallowed ground hits you like the snapping winter wind. Going about taking all of it in, one could stay in there for hours just admiring the infrastructure and architecture. Lost in time, but as the rays of the sun permeate through the colour-stained murals we call windows, from one side to the other, it was cue for us to go.

Like all things, good or bad, it was time to move on.

"Sit down on a tiny bench and take a minute to miss the something you never had. The feeling is yours, you made it from scratch. It’s foggy but it’s real and it hurts. Try to keep your head up and your eyes wide. Keep yourself company. You’d rather be here than at arm’s length somewhere else."

for some, its passes without thought. for some, they carry to their grave.

we cannot move on if we do not understand, and we cannot understand if there is no reason.

yes, there are things with no reason.

From plucking wild oranges to getting pecked by ducks, seville has been a good start. much greenery and oranges with a tinge of lemon here and there. After a brief dinner by the triana, off we went again to catch the local bus to the train station barely making it in time for our train to Cadiz. A family of cats, little cute girls and boys, stunning mothers and broken suitcases.

I have never felt more moved in my life.

Chris McCandles letter to Ronald Franz is beyond inspiring. As dawn breaks in Qatar, i ponder over how i will be leading this life. My life so to speak.

Taking this to be a prelude of things to come, can i drop it all to take it all in?

Time will tell.

If you stumble at mere believability, what are you living for? Isn't love hard to believe?

Love is hard to believe, ask any lover. Life is hard to believe, ask any scientist. God is hard to believe, ask any believer. What is your problem with hard to believe?

Reason is the very best tool kit. Nothing beats reason. But be excessively reasonable and you risk throwing out the universe with the bathwater.

Just because things have never come together in your narrow, limited experience, you refuse to believe that they might.

We can never fathom more than we can imagine. Alas, facts are restricted by far less than our imagination.

Plumeria. What a beautiful scent.

I must say a word about fear. It is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed, happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbelief and disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it with little trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for you. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.

Fear next turns fully to your body, which is already aware that something terribly wrong is going on. Already your lungs have flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tongue drops dead like an opossum, while your jaw begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains too hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, falls apart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

Quickly you make rash decisions. You dismiss your last allies: hope and trust. There, you've defeated yourself. Fear, which is but an impression, has triumphed over you.

The matter is difficult to put into words. For fear, real fear, such as shakes you to your foundation, such as you feel when you are brought face to face with your mortal end, nestles in your memory like a gangrene: it seeks to rot everything, even the words with which to speak of it. So you must fight hard to express it. You must fight hard to shine the light of words upon it. Because if you don't, if your fear becomes a wordless darkness that you avoid, perhaps even manage to forget, you open yourself to further attacks of fear because you never truly fought the opponent who defeated you.

Crippling fear is really an understatement.

Guess my time still isn't here.

I ended 2012 with this song.

I started 2013 with this song.

I will continue to play this song.

I gathered my balls today, to pen down some thoughts and feelings that I have had for awhile. So there's that. Its the first day of a long year ahead!

What better way to spend it than with this wonderful piece of wood in hand. I realized I rather play songs for others; even if the audience is just a pig rabbit.