2012?

It has been an arduous climb for me. Not a proud to for a guy to say, to admit going though the dumps in life. I think it was a phenomenal decision to move out of home and to live alone at NUSH. I plugged myself from wallowing in my own shit and forcing myself to do something about it; something different.

Definitely enjoyed the freedom of living alone.

I tried new stuff, signed up for Spanish classes, attended my first friend's wedding as part of her band, taught friends how to play guitar, went for 3 awesome concerts, dragon boating with my boys, interned at Keppel, got accepted into SEP! And countless number of other wonderful things that happened to me.

I thoroughly enjoyed my Spanish classes and its a real pity I have to pause it for SEP. Its like pausing one dream to fulfill another so i guess i should not complain right? Maria was a tremendous teacher, especially for one that just arrived in Singapore and not have a complete grasp of the English language, she still managed to get through to us, teach us and bring much laughter into the classroom.

Keppel was as phenomenal as it was humbling. I got to work with and alongside both the upper management and the lowest workers and clearly see how different it is. Though I would not say that I am promising to change anything, I can now understand how they feel, as foreign workers in a country that does not want anything to do with them. With that new found understanding, comes a greater deal of respect that I believe I have held as a child. Still remember the days in Rosyth, in the school bus whenever a truckload full of workers pass by the school bus, I will always wave to them to say hi. This internship also kind of sealed my decision to want to work in the oil and gas industry, of course the money is great, but more importantly I find it exhilarating. Lets hope this fire doesn't fade.

NUSH was definitely a huge part of me this year. Of the random outings to brunch/lunch/tea/dinner/supper, the movie outings that we often are late for. Guitaring, drinking and nights spent at 7a was memorable. Of course there were the nights of solo drinks, with different people and doing different stuff. Nights with Edric, i will never forget how a simple night of supper turned out to be so different. haha.

Of course these are just scratching the surface of a fantastic year. One that I have not had for quite a while. It really goes to show how life can sometimes be a pleasant surprise.

Of course I have to thank the people who have made a significant difference to my life.



Yang Shun who has always been there since forever, your US stint may have been rough for the first half of it, but with the ushering in of 2013, I sincerely hope for your time there to improve for the second half.

Bhavesh, the unexpected buddy from army. I mean, who would have known that two strangers meeting on the first day of enlistment who both are not in the list of recruits will hit it off on the bench outside the platoon office. Thanks for the constant encouragement throughout this year.

Susan, funny i met you as well as the nush family in such 'unwilling' circumstances. I mean if that 183 and 96 did not fly by just as I exited the church gate, I am pretty sure things will turn out very much differently. I can not thank you enough for the countless stuff you have gotten for me, and seriously its damn paiseh to take. But you know me, I will take one. haha. Not that I am thick-skinned, I just dislike the weird rejection of a taker and the persistent push of the giver. Well, all I've got to say here is, keep your head up, keep your cool and be a friend with a heart but a leader with a head.

Kim, u are not as helpless as you think you are, which you probably know. Its been nice knowing you through the past year. Even if it seems that everything is bad, remember that there will always be beauty left in this world. Have a good 2013.

Miko, keep your head up. you are a strong girl, and you have tons of people supporting you. if you need 7a, just message me anywhere. hahaha. even though there will not be anymore surprise koi, but i'll be just 12,906.3km away. =D. have a good 2013, fellow level 7 neighbor.

Lion, you know how hard it is to ask you out? hahaha. you are always flying all over the place, literally! You are so awesome! All the best for your internship and eat till your hearts content over there! =)

Serene, it has been 11 years. We;ve seen each other grow up and been through all each other's ups and downs. I know you will always be there if I ever need you and you know I will do the same for you.

Elaine, 9 years is a pretty long time too. Ever the optimist and God fearing, you immense faith in God extends to other people as well. I look forward to the day to play guitar under your leadership again. Thanks for being the rock I hold on to in times of need.

Ben, a true brother who never gives up. You've grown to become a man, one that I respect. I take pride in knowing that you look up to me, and all I have to say to you is its time for you to be the one that others look up to now.

Weishun, the bossman! Its been a great 2 and a half years with you. Just like Bhavesh, we are two people who were strangers yet somehow manage to find each other. To many more years of friendship!

There are definitely many others and from the bottom of my heart, I thank all of you. So as I usher in the new year with my parents, enjoying chili crab while watching Gurmit Singh hosting yet another event, I bid 2012 farewell with a heavy heart. At the same time, I look and move forward into 2013; and what better way to start it by accomplishing a trifecta of my childhood dream, to visit Spain, to visit Nou Camp and to visit Emirates stadium! Here's to end of the night, and the year; Salud!

Thanks to all those who remembered.

Another day, another year.

Note to self. Stop smiling like a fool.

Hope you find green and blue eyes. =D.

Its been awhile since I've spend Christmas eve alone. Peaceful I might add; actually not so much, with me trying to plan my route through Italy. Lots to be thankful for this year. But lets not get ahead of myself. Haha. I probably will have a very long post on the last day if I keep saying that. So back to bed, cup of tea in hand and press play. Its time for a in-house movie experience.

What started off as a steamboat dinner, ended with a mahjong game. Kind of summed up the entire stay i guess; one of fun and great experiences with different groups of people.

As much as I love to reminiscent all the good times, late night suppers, drinks, games and the wonderful canteen dinners or even the cluster outings with my boys, NUSH which will be part of 2012, will always be remembered as the year I picked myself up from the dumps. As depressing as it sounds, I'm glad I am no longer moping over spilled milk anymore.

As the apocalyptic hour passed, I am once again reminded this is the end of an age, the Mayan age, perhaps I can treat it as the beginning of mine?

There are much things to accomplish in the coming year. The most obvious of them all definitely will be finally realizing the Spanish dream. Titillating isn't it!? ;D. So sex-citing!!


Sometimes wants are not needs; when you get what you want, it satisfies, when you get what you need, most of the time its a pleasant surprise.

PIEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

It takes a thought to make a word, some words to make an action, eventually, some work to make it work. Some good to make it hurt and some bad for satisfaction.

Some things do not change, but some people do. Heartening to see how Ben has grown, to someone i respect.

If there's a light in everybody, send out your ray of sunshine.

Last year I spent Christmas in Thailand. Caroling through the night with the elephant lovers. Got a new nickname by the end of the night, piewwwww.

11 years of friendship. ha.

its a different kind of atmosphere. All too familiar, one where there is no need to run from. Maybe that is meant by to seek refuge in? The same place that I have gone to countless times as a child.

This is my childhood.

Just adorable.

Its really happening! Always been so unreal till the moment you book your ticket. Though the preparation is so tedious and at times unbearable, I just know when I finally set foot in Europe, it will all just be worth it.

Spain. A dream since I was 11, and within a month's time, a reality. I cannot fathom the inner joy I will burst forth with.

Nou Camp.
The turf of legends.

Though I wont be able to watch any matches as the schedule clashed with the winter break, it does not matter.



Life's for the living, so live it
Or you're better of dead.

A guitar and a suitcase, everything's ready.

Which story will you choose?

I never did, because they are just stories to me. If believe is based on someone else's encounters then I suppose that is just borrowed faith. Then again, one's own encounter need not necessarily answer his/her questions on faith. The constant tussle between believing in self and a divine being is the basis of faith, whether you truly concede to the fact that what you went through was not achievable by you but only through a higher power only to realize the matter of fact is that you went through it.

Faith. Substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

Without doubt, its impossible to have faith. Yet to have true faith, there should be no doubt. Exactly why it is such a unimaginable concept.

However, it is not a concept we are not too unfamiliar with. We live with it every single day. We go to sleep having faith that we will wake the next day, we have faith in the bus driver to bring us to our destination, we have faith in our friends to not let us down when we need them. Taking out the word faith, we can replace it with the word trust. Is that what encapsulates faith, The ability to trust? I guess not.

Faith is belief, the stubborn kind, where when all things fail you still hold on to it. Trust is not unbreakable.

Semantics, i guess.

All the girls in every girlie magazine
Can't make me feel any less alone

In the months I got the reed, it produced barely any scent at all. Then now, when its suppose to have lost its flavor, the wild figs spring out.

the best I've heard.

Answers give us peace, a finality in itself. Perhaps closure may be a more apt way of putting it. But is there an answer to everything? Is there sufficient reason for everything? How far do we ask before we are satisfied with the answer?

Even those that we cannot comprehend? It seems so easy to just classify them as ultimate mysteries to concede that they may be things we can never know. A double edge blade, one that teaches you to stop and let go but are we letting go too easily then?

Maybe the most sensible way to consider that is really Buriden's Ass. Some things really do happen for no apparent reason at all. Yet we get worked up over such stuff all the time.

Maybe all I'm saying towards the end of this year, is to let go and forgive; of things we cannot understand, of situations that got out of hand, of people who just dropped off from your life. It could be the impending Christmas mood, or just growing another year older, I kind of realize there isn't much space left in my mind to keep it cluttered with things that do not matter. Gotta make the effort to keep close to those that do.

On a very very different note,

Still looking for a home
In a world where I belong

Because home, is something I will want in years to come. Home is where the heart is. Home is a place I thought I had, then lost.

A night like any other.

Cold, peaceful.

Looking out the window, trying to spot out that all-to-familiar red neon wording of 'Singapore Polytechnic' only to realize that there is only pitch darkness. That comforting familiar feeling starts to feel not too familiar anymore. The shades open, revealing the picturesque cluster of high-rise blocks, another sight I've grown familiar with over this semester. The once empty blocks now scattered with families, marked by the lit windows all around.

Not one to share or talk much, I've made a decision to change that while entering here, and 11 different bottles on the shelf bear testament to that. After tonight, it'll be 12. But after all that, I've realized that no matter how I try to change, I will always be me, strange as it sounds its comforting to know that I'm comfortable with that part of me now.

It has been a great year, one which will be concluded very soon, but lets not get ahead of ourselves. I have 1 month left before I fly, there are still many things to do, and accomplish. Food hunting, meet up with friends, flight preparations, Christmas; it definitely will be a rush to the end. An end that sprouts into a new beginning, a never ending cycle, an irony by itself.