to see each day through the eyes of a different person.
that will be interesting.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Goodbye little brown cat, it was nice to meet you again after 2 years. Though on most days I cannot find you, but on the days i do, you brighten my day a little to make it bearable.
The awesome Lib Sun team! Right to left, Ramesh, me, Uncle Ong, Rasu and Maran
My wonderful mentors in the welding section who taught me so much in such a short period of time, Seow Huat and Zay.
It has been an interesting 3 months at the shipyard and definitely a very tiring internship. the early mornings and late overtime nights. It finally concluded with smiles, handshakes and pats on the back. Its funny to see the hierarchy of the entire system and understand how they think about the company.
Of course bias-ness aside, you can clearly see a distinct gap in their mindsets. With the higher management encouraging me to stay and the workers telling me to run as far as i possibly can. But I still have 2 years to go and Europe before that, so i do not think i will rush into any decision just yet; this to me is just an experience, something for me to look back upon to think about and also to see what kind of life would be like in the marine industry.
They say to not dwell too long in your thoughts; to plan meticulously, to play out all possible moves, to try and foresee what will happen because that opportunity might just pass you by. Opportunity comes in different shapes and sizes, business deals, job offers, someone special, a rare and suspicious deal; but how do we make sound judgement? There is no guarantee at all! No, foresight does not cut it.
Maybe there is no sound judgement. It is just how you play your cards as the situation plays out. Looking back in hindsight, you observe and learn what could be different, yet with different decisions you can never know where those will lead too.
Nonetheless, its still fun to ponder. Its a world where nothing can be made into something and possibilities are everything. But never let the lines between reality and virtual be blurred.
"So is there any chance, that you, might, kind of, sort of,.. you know,.. like me, or..?"
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Monday, July 23, 2012
and so it is.
was.
will be.
Its sad to part, despite knowing that we will meet again; because it will not be the same. this void of time, can never be replaced, it can only be imagined. Its true that old friends pick up where they left off but nothing can ever fill up this empty space of lost time.
like clouds, we part and meet, but never the same shape and size.
am i sad? of course i am. its rhetorical that i refuse to answer it. but the joy i have far exceeds that of sadness. Joy, because i know my friend will be moving on to greater things, closer to achieving what he wants to become.
Because as selfish i wish i could be, to want people close to me to always be around, i know its just naive thinking. Why would i want to be the chain that hold them down? I should be the giant fan that fan their flames, in hope that they would be mine as well.
so i would say go for it, ys.
same goes for u mj. doubt u even read here anymore. Thanks for everything. i sincerely wish you the best for your 2 years further studies. Maybe you can finally fulfill your full potential without that ball and chain that held you back for so long.
because of you, i've packed away that tiny box of emotion. detached myself from that dreadful feeling of losing something again.
was.
will be.
Its sad to part, despite knowing that we will meet again; because it will not be the same. this void of time, can never be replaced, it can only be imagined. Its true that old friends pick up where they left off but nothing can ever fill up this empty space of lost time.
like clouds, we part and meet, but never the same shape and size.
am i sad? of course i am. its rhetorical that i refuse to answer it. but the joy i have far exceeds that of sadness. Joy, because i know my friend will be moving on to greater things, closer to achieving what he wants to become.
Because as selfish i wish i could be, to want people close to me to always be around, i know its just naive thinking. Why would i want to be the chain that hold them down? I should be the giant fan that fan their flames, in hope that they would be mine as well.
so i would say go for it, ys.
same goes for u mj. doubt u even read here anymore. Thanks for everything. i sincerely wish you the best for your 2 years further studies. Maybe you can finally fulfill your full potential without that ball and chain that held you back for so long.
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
Life is only made meaningful and joyful when you go out for a good dinner, have some casual drinks and return home to read.
haha. =).
then u read something else like, "I think the opposite of happiness isn't sadness, it's the fear of happiness."
and it makes you ponder again.
its the fear of losing that happiness, but ironically just through that simple thought, you just made it come true.
haha. =).
then u read something else like, "I think the opposite of happiness isn't sadness, it's the fear of happiness."
and it makes you ponder again.
its the fear of losing that happiness, but ironically just through that simple thought, you just made it come true.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
"you'll do the honest thing. You'll lie."
It funny how things supersede each other, where one's damage can be overruled by another. Does it make the former any less wrong? But we tend to overlook it anyway. And of course this has to got to do with work.
It is just preposterous that u can inform him in the morning about something, send a confirmation sms, inform him once again in the afternoon and he still does it wrong and claims that u did not inform him at all, before blabbering other nonsense. The curious thing is, yes i was furious but instead of flaring up i was actually more worried about the situation because it was a critical job, thinking of ways to rectify the problem. I just cannot be bothered with getting angry.
it does no help anyway.
"everybody lies"
Perception of physical traits is unreliable. A piece of wax, melted and distorted is still the same piece of wax. Our senses may deceive us. Reason is the only method of discovering fact.
Not to be discounted is the duality of body and mind. An entity can be said to be both “like this” and “like that” without giving up its intrinsic “like this-ness.”
"People don't change just because they wish they could."
It funny how things supersede each other, where one's damage can be overruled by another. Does it make the former any less wrong? But we tend to overlook it anyway. And of course this has to got to do with work.
It is just preposterous that u can inform him in the morning about something, send a confirmation sms, inform him once again in the afternoon and he still does it wrong and claims that u did not inform him at all, before blabbering other nonsense. The curious thing is, yes i was furious but instead of flaring up i was actually more worried about the situation because it was a critical job, thinking of ways to rectify the problem. I just cannot be bothered with getting angry.
it does no help anyway.
"everybody lies"
Perception of physical traits is unreliable. A piece of wax, melted and distorted is still the same piece of wax. Our senses may deceive us. Reason is the only method of discovering fact.
Not to be discounted is the duality of body and mind. An entity can be said to be both “like this” and “like that” without giving up its intrinsic “like this-ness.”
"People don't change just because they wish they could."
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
i know that i, should be brave.
even pretty can be seen by the blind.
so subtle yet so clear.
Pondering over Pascal's wager.
Because as human beings, we always want the better half. Especially if we can never know the end. We make choices according to what we feel will leave us better off. It is not hard-wired to our system to take the shorter end of the stick. Because even when we do, we do it for our dignity, to achieve a sense of heroism that we can pride ourselves with. We love it when people put us upon a pedestal, it gives us the butterflies.
Pessimistic, no?
The question thus is, does chivalry really exist? But can we really know?
Just like, does God exist? They are all ideas that can never be proven, though some may disagree.
So why wager against the possibility of heaven, and eternal happiness? To answer Pascal, because as the Bible says of those who are sitting on the fence are as good as those who choose not to believe. So essentially without true faith, u can never enter paradise.
"You spend your whole life looking for the truth, but sometimes the truth just sucks."
But truth based on perceptions rather than facts are not really truth, are they?
There is no one truth.
even pretty can be seen by the blind.
so subtle yet so clear.
Pondering over Pascal's wager.
Because as human beings, we always want the better half. Especially if we can never know the end. We make choices according to what we feel will leave us better off. It is not hard-wired to our system to take the shorter end of the stick. Because even when we do, we do it for our dignity, to achieve a sense of heroism that we can pride ourselves with. We love it when people put us upon a pedestal, it gives us the butterflies.
Pessimistic, no?
The question thus is, does chivalry really exist? But can we really know?
Just like, does God exist? They are all ideas that can never be proven, though some may disagree.
So why wager against the possibility of heaven, and eternal happiness? To answer Pascal, because as the Bible says of those who are sitting on the fence are as good as those who choose not to believe. So essentially without true faith, u can never enter paradise.
"You spend your whole life looking for the truth, but sometimes the truth just sucks."
But truth based on perceptions rather than facts are not really truth, are they?
There is no one truth.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
"caring about, enduring pain to do some good for someone you care about, isn't that what life is?"
is it?
is life just about the things, the people around us? is it not about ourselves? can we not be selfish yet find fulfillment with life?
Is it human nature to want to care?
how do we satiate the void we feel?
yet as we extend ourselves to reach out to others, offering up fragments of ourselves away, leaving behind that gaping hole, we trust they would do they same for us. But human nature dictates they fall short.
to fill that psychological void, we create an emotional void; hoping that others will care enough to fill it.
yes they may never mend those bits. but it warms the heart to know they will never stop trying to, at least for that small group of them.
is it?
is life just about the things, the people around us? is it not about ourselves? can we not be selfish yet find fulfillment with life?
Is it human nature to want to care?
how do we satiate the void we feel?
yet as we extend ourselves to reach out to others, offering up fragments of ourselves away, leaving behind that gaping hole, we trust they would do they same for us. But human nature dictates they fall short.
to fill that psychological void, we create an emotional void; hoping that others will care enough to fill it.
yes they may never mend those bits. but it warms the heart to know they will never stop trying to, at least for that small group of them.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
"Mami says its our spirits that make us human."
what about animals then?
Essentially animals do not. Humans are unique as we are made in the image of God, which consists of the trinity which includes the Holy Spirit.
So where do they go? Are they vessels emptied of life? Never to be found again except in the fragments of memory we have of them. The Bible talks about the rapture, the Resurrection of souls in the end days, but animals with no souls, where do they go?
Isn't it better then? To know that there will neither be eternal damnation nor paradise, to not be worried about where you are headed.
Because death scares us. But what we fear is what comes after, the mystery of the unknown that plays with our imagination.
what about animals then?
Essentially animals do not. Humans are unique as we are made in the image of God, which consists of the trinity which includes the Holy Spirit.
So where do they go? Are they vessels emptied of life? Never to be found again except in the fragments of memory we have of them. The Bible talks about the rapture, the Resurrection of souls in the end days, but animals with no souls, where do they go?
Isn't it better then? To know that there will neither be eternal damnation nor paradise, to not be worried about where you are headed.
Because death scares us. But what we fear is what comes after, the mystery of the unknown that plays with our imagination.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Change is the only constant in life. heard it lots of times. but truth is, change works both ways; u can change back to the person u used to be and it is still change.
misguided purposes.
what is the right thing to do? can what you want be considered right? or do we conform to social norms to tell us what is right, but what is that is not right to you?
"When you have the ability to do good, it is your moral obligation to do it. You do not have a choice. You have to do it."
- Ben Parker
Yet these are stuff only made for the movies. not this miserable life we are involved in.
The main takeaway?
We all have secrets: the ones we keep; and the ones that are kept from us.
Secrets have a cost. They’re not for free.
misguided purposes.
what is the right thing to do? can what you want be considered right? or do we conform to social norms to tell us what is right, but what is that is not right to you?
"When you have the ability to do good, it is your moral obligation to do it. You do not have a choice. You have to do it."
- Ben Parker
Yet these are stuff only made for the movies. not this miserable life we are involved in.
The main takeaway?
We all have secrets: the ones we keep; and the ones that are kept from us.
Secrets have a cost. They’re not for free.
Monday, July 9, 2012
There is a need to dull the throbbing in my head, the incessant chatter. To drown the voices and all that remains will be a blanket of silence.
Work is getting on my nerves. I cant believe the miserable peanuts they pay me for the job they expect me to do.
No whining, you bitch. Ok.
The experience and exposure i have received thus far i am grateful for. Engaged in a tussle between project managers, owners and engineers; it was exhilarating so to speak. It is intriguing how people demand for things and how others try to appease while others try to blend with the wall. Hidden within the facade of professionalism, you can see how different races, nationalities inevitably will exist tension and irrevocable disdain for each other. The color of your skin holds much power in affecting people's viewpoint towards you.
Yup and that concludes my thoughts on work. the past 9 weeks shuffling between hiding in the back office container, walking countless of times to and fro from west to east yard, climbing D1 just to get a signature or attend VSCC meetings, to going to the blast-tech to appease the ever angst Naresh, finding Ng2 to hear him banter on about his hatred for pinoys, and slaving away as a QC, admin boy and supervisor.
3 weeks left.
Work is getting on my nerves. I cant believe the miserable peanuts they pay me for the job they expect me to do.
No whining, you bitch. Ok.
The experience and exposure i have received thus far i am grateful for. Engaged in a tussle between project managers, owners and engineers; it was exhilarating so to speak. It is intriguing how people demand for things and how others try to appease while others try to blend with the wall. Hidden within the facade of professionalism, you can see how different races, nationalities inevitably will exist tension and irrevocable disdain for each other. The color of your skin holds much power in affecting people's viewpoint towards you.
Yup and that concludes my thoughts on work. the past 9 weeks shuffling between hiding in the back office container, walking countless of times to and fro from west to east yard, climbing D1 just to get a signature or attend VSCC meetings, to going to the blast-tech to appease the ever angst Naresh, finding Ng2 to hear him banter on about his hatred for pinoys, and slaving away as a QC, admin boy and supervisor.
3 weeks left.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Work is becoming banal and it doesn't help that my body is slowly shutting down by itself. How could i have missed my alarm for 2 days and when i set it to ring at 2 different timings?! I need to fix this.
As we eagerly wait for that one thing; a rush within us brings about elation in anticipation. But that joy is short-lived as doubt creeps in; what if...
Just a sliver of doubt is needed to open the floodgates of endless questions and countless scenarios that will play through your head. Because we are impatient and irrational beings and the two form a deadly concoction of resentment which can lash out, causing unnecessary hurt.
so do we just wait? Secretly hoping or stubbornly believing?
As we eagerly wait for that one thing; a rush within us brings about elation in anticipation. But that joy is short-lived as doubt creeps in; what if...
Just a sliver of doubt is needed to open the floodgates of endless questions and countless scenarios that will play through your head. Because we are impatient and irrational beings and the two form a deadly concoction of resentment which can lash out, causing unnecessary hurt.
so do we just wait? Secretly hoping or stubbornly believing?
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
In a relatively elevated state right now.
And i am convinced that this state seems to produce better music, which most probably an illusion. So i guess i am just deceiving myself. Even i am amazed at how i am typing this with little effort on using the backspace.
yet all these time i am thinking of you. I doubt u know that its you, but i guess it is best to stay this ambiguous.
yes, u take my breath away. not trying to sound cheesy nor corny. but yes, u do. as much as i try, when my mind wanders off, it is back to you. Fuck. guys should not be like this. We are strong. but what the fuck, she takes your breath away.
yes, i may be essentially high right now, but i am still clear in thoughts. I still can touch your nose and 'piew' you if u wan me to. hahaha.
good night world. 4 more weeks in Keppel.
And i am convinced that this state seems to produce better music, which most probably an illusion. So i guess i am just deceiving myself. Even i am amazed at how i am typing this with little effort on using the backspace.
yet all these time i am thinking of you. I doubt u know that its you, but i guess it is best to stay this ambiguous.
yes, u take my breath away. not trying to sound cheesy nor corny. but yes, u do. as much as i try, when my mind wanders off, it is back to you. Fuck. guys should not be like this. We are strong. but what the fuck, she takes your breath away.
yes, i may be essentially high right now, but i am still clear in thoughts. I still can touch your nose and 'piew' you if u wan me to. hahaha.
good night world. 4 more weeks in Keppel.
Sunday, July 1, 2012
unexpectedly, my blog got 'featured' in Singaporedaily and I received a momentary spike in reader count, but i'm sure after the entire issue has passed, it will be back to the same old readers once again.
With Jason Mraz ending yesterday night, it officially marked the end of the 3 concerts i planned to watch this holidays and also the start of a new school term beckons. He was really awesome live, his voice so dreamy be it singing or speaking, the song that i really felt got the crowd going was Curbside Prophet/Remedy. After that, the crowd more or less got more settled and comfortable and were enjoying themselves very much.
I really am glad to be able to finally watch him live. Its performances like 'Mr Curiosity' that made me watch him in the first place, just him, his guitar and Toca, who sadly was not in the show. And yes, he did not play, 'prettiest friend', 'song for a friend' and 'sunshine song', but still it was fantastic. =)
As time passes, things and people around us slowly(ironic isn't it) start to become faster and faster. Nowadays everything seems to be moving at such lightning speed, that we rarely take a break and just slow down, to sit back, relax and enjoy the process of the things. It is all about efficiency, speed and getting the job done. No longer do we appreciate nor enjoy the painstaking process that brings us to our goal. The one thing that made it all worth the while.
And with that realization, its no wonder we no longer appreciate others as we did. Because as present time whizzes by, we stopped learning to thank, and begin taking things for granted.
I, myself am no different. Because the convenience that efficiency brings has crippled me so much it seems improbable to live without it. And immersed in the fast-paced culture of Singapore, to say that you want to slow things down is akin to living in denial.
Only brief moments, such as watching your favorite singer, taking a long bus ride, long showers, I remind myself that life should be enjoyed and i should take a chill pill.
All the while, i look forward to owning my farm in Spain. With many many pets. =)
With Jason Mraz ending yesterday night, it officially marked the end of the 3 concerts i planned to watch this holidays and also the start of a new school term beckons. He was really awesome live, his voice so dreamy be it singing or speaking, the song that i really felt got the crowd going was Curbside Prophet/Remedy. After that, the crowd more or less got more settled and comfortable and were enjoying themselves very much.
I really am glad to be able to finally watch him live. Its performances like 'Mr Curiosity' that made me watch him in the first place, just him, his guitar and Toca, who sadly was not in the show. And yes, he did not play, 'prettiest friend', 'song for a friend' and 'sunshine song', but still it was fantastic. =)
As time passes, things and people around us slowly(ironic isn't it) start to become faster and faster. Nowadays everything seems to be moving at such lightning speed, that we rarely take a break and just slow down, to sit back, relax and enjoy the process of the things. It is all about efficiency, speed and getting the job done. No longer do we appreciate nor enjoy the painstaking process that brings us to our goal. The one thing that made it all worth the while.
And with that realization, its no wonder we no longer appreciate others as we did. Because as present time whizzes by, we stopped learning to thank, and begin taking things for granted.
I, myself am no different. Because the convenience that efficiency brings has crippled me so much it seems improbable to live without it. And immersed in the fast-paced culture of Singapore, to say that you want to slow things down is akin to living in denial.
Only brief moments, such as watching your favorite singer, taking a long bus ride, long showers, I remind myself that life should be enjoyed and i should take a chill pill.
All the while, i look forward to owning my farm in Spain. With many many pets. =)
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