The image of the white-haired old man scavenging through the barely filled food court for scraps, remnants of others' dinners. With each passing table, his loot grew. Satisfied by the substantial amount of food he collected, he sits, gathered himself and prepared to feast.

Heart-wrenching to say the least. Watching him mash everything together, not bothered about taste or looks only concerned about eating his fill to survive yet another day. Oblivious to the world, he feasted like a king, savoring every last bit of his meal.

Two tables away, we were eating out of our family feast from KFC, hungry after a long bus ride back from Zakopane. Still, we could not finish it all. The last two drumlets would have been waste, thrown away without thought; but it became a proper dinner for the old man.

We do know we are privileged as Singaporeans but we rarely take advantage of that fact. It really does not take much to make another person's day.


Dreams should not be so vivid. Marred reality.

Ireland might be the best time yet. The perks of travelling on your own, its your time, your choices and your experiences.

To crunch gravel and dirt, its time to get a proper pair of shoes. Really psyched for it!

I do wish City and Colour will have more play-time than Biffy Clyro but we will see how it goes. =).

Ireland. Real soon.

It has been a busy weekend with 2 cities in 4 days, and school starting the day right after. As if it is not bad enough, I have to endure having 3 7.30am classes for the rest of the semester. The up-side is that I have lots of free afternoon time!

Somehow, we are approaching the end of February and with it the gradual passing of winter. Winter has always been a season of white, of cold and warm cozy settings, yet as I have come to understand it, it just consists of never-ending grey skies and gloom. Each speck of blue sky that appears, even for that one short moment, is a little spark of joy that warms the heart. Maybe that is how depression is suppose to feel like. The sun still lights up your universe, but its rays filtered through layers upon layers of gloomy clouds; day after day nothing really changes.

Barely slept last night, alternating between the same dream and staring into a black ceiling. It is a wonder how you can seamlessly fall back into the same dream and continue where you left off. A tape recorder that just plays and pauses as it pleases. Speaking of which, I should start practicing guitar again.

On the bus, headed towards Kielce. For the past 30 mins it has been jus plain white snowoutside of the window. With dishwalla singing 'i'm always going to worry about the things that could make us cold', yeah i worry too.

In the warmth of the bus, one can appreciate the beauty of white snow. Untainted, pure.

Durham had been fun! Ice skating in Newcastle, a first for me and I am pretty proud to say I did not fall! Heh. Still not able to skate gracefully but at least by the end of the 1 hr I was able to skate short distances, very short indeed. Day trip to Barnard's was perfect except for the fact that it was closed. But still managed to visit the quite majestic Bowes museum so it was not a wasted trip; also the small little cafe with music scores as wallpaper. Evlin was a wonderful host, hopefully I can repay that favor come mid-April.

Even though I do not classify myself as a frequent flyer, though I wish I were, of the many trips I have been to abroad, I have never been to any alone; like really alone. There was always a friend, a companion or an adult to at least 'depend' on. The first time that happened was right after my deferment from army, where I traveled straight to Cambodia and joined my friends in our short trip to explore Siem Reap and Vietnam after. Even then it was a mistake, more like misfortune, as I was suppose to set forth with them only to have my plans thwarted by the army. But then again, it was just an hour's flight and it was still close to home, somewhat. This time round, its another 2.5 hr flight from London to Krakow, thousands of miles away. Yet somehow there was no apprehension rather it was expectancy of whats to happen.

3 days on, it kind of feels I have been here for much longer than that. Just back from pub crawling, sadly some were closed which was kinda weird, but made new friends, both poles and non-poles. There was this Danish guy who seems to be in his 40s and he has a daughter; he is already a degree holder yet he is still pursuing one more and he fits in so well with the rest of us despite his age. Respect much.

Plans for the weekend all set. Off I go again!

Feb 10. Its been 32 days since I left sunny Singapore. As much as I love the cold winter, I sit here numb, wet because of the persistent rain that has been slowly trickling from above since I woke up. There barely is a cloudless day in England and to be able to see the sun pierce through that ever gloomy overcast is a blessing indeed. On one of those rare days, there was a beautiful clear blue sky scattered with the ever-so puffy white clouds in Salisbury; we headed off to the Stonehenge, but as if on cue, the grey blanket started to approach and evident from my pictures I've uploaded, one can see how quick the bright cheerful mood quickly darkens.

I'm not complaining. I've been truly blessed to have this opportunity to explore this half of the world, one which I'm sure even my own parents have not yet have the privilege to, yet they are ever so supporting. I have seen the beautiful in this world, both in nature as well as man-made.

Yet as this trip is drawing to a close within the week, weariness starts to seep in after days of fighting the battering wind and the constant moving around. Above all, I think the most horrendous thing is to lug this 23kg load all over the place but at least I saved 600 in shipping fees.

I really wanted to enjoy England's beautiful greenery and to be honest, winter is really not the time to enjoy such luxuries. Oh well, looking forward to the start of school, concentration camps, skiing on Zakopane, mixing around with students from across the globe and maybe even a short stint at wwoofing whilst at Poland? I found one or two farms already, just have to see my timetable first before pressing the 'yes' button.

I'm still considering what to do in July before heading back to Singapore.

Continue wwoofing?
Take my professor's advice to intern at Keppel? There is Keppel Velrome (Holland), Keppel Norway or Nakilat-Offshore and Marine(Qatar). Only issue is lodging though.
Continue touring Eastern Europe alone? Greece and Turkey seems absolutely delightful.

Each choice is a different direction in life that I wish to make some headway into and not forgetting, everything costs money.

"It seemed to me that she was lacerating her own wounds on purpose, feeling a need to do so - feeling a need for despair and suffering... And how often this happens with a heart that has suffered great loss!"

Oh the irony, the paradoxical existence of happiness lying within sadness. "Even torment from him is happiness". Most of us are guilty of such actions, myself included; to not try and forget or salve our wounds, be it sadness, anger or bitterness towards another, but rather seeking egoistic gratification in intensifying the pain. "lacerating her own wounds on purpose - feeling a need to do so - feeling a need for despair and suffering." We seek the temporal satisfaction of wallowing in our own problems at the same time delaying the true joy that lies ahead. Often hiding behind excuses of fear, yet it actually is shame. Our ego, unable to face up to our mistakes or accept the truth.

Until it ends up in this.

"'Vanya, why did I destroy your happiness?' And in her eyes I read, 'We could have been happy together forever.'"

It was a very good read. Not philosophical, not too complicated, just nice to start me off into his other books. It was definitely heart-wrenching.

So maybe its possible to tear over a book.


"But you're a poet, and I'm a simple man, and therefore I will say that one must look at things from the simplest, most practical point of view. I, for instance, have long since freed myself from all shackles, and even obligations. I only recognize obligations when I see I have something to gain by them. You, of course, can't look at things that way; your legs are in fetters and your taste is morbid. You long for the ideal, for virtue. Well my friend, I am ready to accept anything you command me to accept, but what am I to do if I know for a fact that at the root of all human virtues lies the profoundest egoism? And the more virtuous anything is, the more egoism there is in it. Love yourself - that's the one rule i recognize"

Fyodor Dostoevsky


I for one, agree with it. As a simple man, one should and will look at things from the simplest and most practical point of view. Alas, the world we live in is not simple, and neither are the people that dwell upon it.

Almost totally forgot about the connection between London and Guy Fawkes, kind of cool that I now know where he was brought to be tortured. But his execution was truly gruesome.

With my current craze revolving around Hell's Kitchen, it was a spontaneous idea to try to locate one of his restaurants in his hometown, London! Coincidentally, I managed to find one near to St Paul's cathedral which we were gonna visit anyway. This despite knowing it probably will be quite expensive, but I still wanted to go. Just to take a look.



Quite disheartened to see so many friends sad and going through a tough period in their lives. Ears cannot hear words that are not spoken and I am very much willing to listen to anyone if they need a listening ear. I so do wish to hear anyone out.

Oh, if this little light of mine
combined with yours today.
How many watts could we luminate?

when i shy, i cannot sing; rather i sing like shit. haha. so sad. at least, nerves can be calmed down.

met boyi and lawrence today. had a good catch up and talk with them. So awesome to be able to meet with friends in another country together. Hope it will not be the one and only time.

rusted strings and soft tender fingertips.

Still thinking about Emirates Stadium..

There can only be one number 1.

20 mins late into the game, but still a dream come true nonetheless. Singing along, Chanting together with a full house Emirates stadium. I feel so happy.

Even as things are being struck off the bucket list, it continually gets longer.

Last thought of the day, popped up when I was walking back.

Persistence pays. We all gotta keep trying.