Thanks for remembering. =).

Seeing those blue cyan shoes.

I smiled.

you blink your eyes and it will pass you by.

oh has it passed me by...

So much to say, yet I cant seem to pen them down.

I keep staring at that black bottle, staring at the bottom of the glass. Again and again, I wander back to the green pastures of Europe.

I do Lateral Torsional Buckling problems till I want to cry.

And I thought it will not be as bad as doing calculations for vertical and horizontal curves for roads and pavement design.

I have yet to touch my offshore modules.

Help me......

We'll all get there. =)

Being smart does not mean you are clever. Being smart is having the skill to observe and take in information and sieve it such that you utilize it to its maximum potential so you do not waste time on the useless parts. This means that you are as clueless as anyone else about the matter of fact and can only make educated guesses about it. Of course, being extremely smart, you can deceive your way through and make largely accurate guesses but that does not make you clever.

A clever person does not require any observation skill nor need they attempt to guess anything. They already possess the knowledge about the matter of fact because that's is how they are. They do not need to conduct mini tests or experiments to confirm their guesstimate; they go straight to the subject they target for and pinpoint the knowledge that they already have and need in the situation given.

I know I am not clever. But I try so hard to be smart. I do not want to stop trying. But sometimes it tires you because no matter how hard you try, you will never surpass those who are clever.

We live in a limbo based on the path not taken. But did it matter?

wouldn't it be wonderful if someone were to take the trouble to tab out olafur arnald's music.

heavenly.

And so, i tried 'Near Light'

And it goes,

Am, G, Em, F in its own variations.
Chorus is just F, G, Em and repeat.

So glad that this stupid project is finally over. So much time eaten away thanks to it, and am lagging behind in practically every single module. But hey! whats new. hahaha. I really think its time to set some mini goals for myself, since it worked out pretty well the previous time. Actually more than well, it was almost perfect with all being fulfilled!

But till then, I have to finish this darn report, the last bit of this 4 week design project. I think we did well, or it may just be that the industry invitees were just dishing praises for the first team presenting, but if you ask me, I do not think so. hahaha.

Grampian Mountains in Australia
Hole in the Wall South Africa Wild Coast
Mostar, Bosnia by Marcó De La Mora
Dachstein Glacier, near Schladming, Austria
Ramon Crator, Israel
Tappiya Falls, Banaue Rice Terraces, Philippines

oh how i miss travelling..

Am always intrigued by poems since young. Though I never really got to knowing them very well, they still always amaze me by holding so much meaning in so little words.

i drew a line
through yesterday
on one side now

on the other, _____

Such a depressing stanza. The last word from the poem was 'childhood', but I figured it should be just kept blank. Arbitrary lines, seemingly non-existent yet appearing everywhere.

The full poem of 'After a birthday' as below,

I drew a line through yesterday

On one side, now,

and on the other, childhood

The line was not quite straight

wavering partly because one's hand trembles

at such a closing-off of innocence

partly because i doubted

that one could demarcate so easily

good from bad, past from present

i from me

in the high country

men built drystone walls

for miles, or planted hedges

bordering against neighbour and nature

not seeing that, beneath,

it is one earth

or that one cannot simply

wall out what does not please one

all the king's horses


On that note, this just came on the radio.

I drew a line for you,
and it was all yellow..

Beautiful.

learning to play iron and wine songs has been a good payoff.

Loving the new plucking pattern learnt! ;) just gives every song a very indie feel.

This is totally random, yet i just have to share this.

I may not have the chance to go for it but i still think it is damn cool!

http://www.nus.edu.sg/iro/opps/others/out/sas/index.html

Sometimes it gets hard to believe that you actually went through all those things, been to all those places done all the things you have done.

Just as time is a healer of all things, you begin to realize, it does not heal, neither does it make you forget; it simply erodes. It chips away slowly, and before you know it, you begin to question yourself.

That is how cruel time is.

It does not stop. It does not sleep. It does not eat. Until it has taken each and every one of us.

That unbearable pain i felt this morning. I almost punch my wall in. The decision to sleep it off was a fantastic one, not only did i wake up feeling better, the pain was gone too. Now it is just sore, that I can handle. Oh, how i loathe you wisdom tooth. At least you are gone now.

Happy song!

Man caving for the past few days. Catching up on shows and friends but for the most part, just rooting myself at home. Yet with the start of a new week tomorrow, its maybe time to be active once more.

I thought about something the other day, something important, yet with all things, it slipped my mind.

On a more somber note, I just found out my neighbour's son has passed away whilst I was gone. So hard to imagine, someone younger than me already leaving this world. Apparently another covered up NSF death, i could not find anything on the internet at all.


The grandest of notions come from the smallest motivations.

this is fact not fiction.

frustrating somehow. disappointed somehow. but as always, it doesn't matter.

DCFC. totally the kind of music to listen to right now. Stoned, phased out.

because perfect things never last longer than it should, just like how short this song goes.

I am pretty bummed at how short a time i got to spend with you, but I loved every moment of it. I miss you, Suji.

http://www.dailygood.org/story/436/what-to-do-when-you-ve-made-someone-angry-peter-bregman/

intention vs. consequences

Decent article. While it generally speaks truth, the eventual answer just seems to suggest all of us to be politically correct individuals. Above all, I think understanding should be the basis of everything. Understanding, the other person's situation; more importantly their character or personality. To react to each and every other person differently. No, it is not being hypocritical, but acknowledging the fact that different people want different things. Even in reconciliation, or be it just to maintain a friendship.

Ha. Looking at the last sentence. Joke's on me.

Cheers.

Bo go shi po.

Never the best at goodbyes. Why can't people just understand the notion of part and parcel of life? The necessary going-away for the coming-in. Yet I hypocritically want things to remain status quo. Ha.

Time to go home.

What a twist to an already eventful six months.

Honestly, I will have never have guessed things to end up the way they are now. It just goes to show how unpredictable life can be at times.

With the stroke of noon, I left Politecnika Krakowska a free man, though I am not really lacking freedom in any way before that. The important thing is I left getting the pass I need from the module. As such, I am now totally cleared of all my modules, probably the only thing that was needed to be treated seriously for this entire 6 months. That and the countless plans for travels throughout this other side of the world.

Good morning freedom, good night lullaby.

bleah. i keep spraining my thumb and hurting my wrist. irritating.

I guess I should have a pretty long post coming soon, but first I have to clear the small amount of work that has managed to piled up due to my trips all over.

Still adjusting to the timezone, though its just 1 or 2 hours difference, having been switching here and there for so many times within the past 2 months it has been quite taxing on my body.

Enjoy the nice music.

Maybe someone should let him know that there are bike shops in Singapore as well.

I think that campfire and barbeque that weekend will be one I can never take my mind off for a long long time. Daniel's house is just phenomenal; its prime location just beside the pond/lake which overlooks the sunset is indescribable. His hospitality was undoubtedly top notch and to top it all off, a night of music with him and I taking turns, in front of family and friends under candlelight. 

An intimate setting, one could not ask for more. 

Of course, who can forget his shy polish nephew, Antyk. 

Travelling again tomorrow night. 

Alas, like all good things, the semester is about to come to an end.

"You haven't lived through a fire. You don't know what happens. Sometimes in a fire the insurance company burns down too. Then what can you do?"

Often we take the words of the wise and try to live by them. Yet the truth is, those are their experiences and not ours, something that we can never know for sure, something that is just not personal enough. For the skeptics, they can never understand those words until it comes to past; for the repressed skeptics, as many of us are, they accept the them but still never truly believe in them. For the ignorant, mostly children, they take it to be the norm, never questioning it once and often are coerced into submission till they grow up to start questioning the authenticity of those words and finally branch off into the other groups. For the believers (sorry for the lack of a better word), they take it on face-value and never once question if those are really words of the wise or the chatter of fools; they may succumb to disbelief occasionally but eventually choose to keep the faith with a tinge of common sense. For the fanatics, there leaves little to be said.

I have much respect for people who believe in things, words that cannot be substantiated at any given point in time. Be it an omnipresent sentient being that is practically non existent or the belief of one's future/accomplishments yet achieved, or the hope in a relationship that can head towards any direction. It is that belief that empowers them, and somehow even if it does not come to past, somehow it feels like it was not just for nothing.


"The only person who didn't say something was Lefty, because in all the confusion he couldn't find his chalkboard."

Its funny how the speech is faster than thought. We are all eager to say something but when you think it through, there was no need for it. We all need a chalkboard; maybe when we struggle to find it, we will realize there was no need for it in the first place. Yes, silence can be engaging too; just look and listen.

I really wonder when I have the time to ever to do this again. Lie in a hammock, book in hand, sunset just over the mountains, without a care in the world. But then, why think about the future when you can enjoy it now. Watched the speech that everyone is talking about yesterday night.

The impact is what others frame for you and the world after it happens. The present is only what you're experiencing and focused on right no. You cannot draw that path looking forward. You cannot draw any of your paths looking forward.

Cheers Darlin'

On this mission to finish all the books from which the movies i've watched are based on, I am more than convinced that one should watch the movie before watching the show, because the experience is enhanced that way rather than the other way around. Then again, with that, you lose the chance to build up the characters in your head which is half the fun of reading lost.


Being alone this long, there is far too much time to think. The problem with that is your mind wanders in all directions, sometimes to places you do not wish to go to. Yet again, you know somewhere inside these thoughts have been there all along. Much like a hairball slowly growing and catching everything in its way. At random, it releases itself unleashing a rush, flooding your system in massive amounts. As with all things, change occurs. It never struck me till that day on the train as I took my earphones in hand, plugged it into my ears by habit; as the organ played the introduction to marching bands of manhatten, I realized I stopped thinking.

I just, let it go.

No, it was not drowning out the lesser of the two voices, but more like filling the void that it somehow created.

So peaceful.

The most important things are the hardest things to say. They are things you get ashamed of, because words make them smaller. When they were in your head they were limitless; but when they come out they seem to be no bigger than normal things. But that's not all. It's hard and painful for you to talk about these things ... and then people just look at you strangely. They haven't understood what you've said at all, or why you almost cried while you were saying it. It's hard to make strangers care about the good things in your life.

Get trippin'

My Berlin host has a personal LIBRARY! O.M.G.

Off hand, I estimate about 1000 books. Though they are probably in German, I will still go over them tonight.

Totally mind blowing stuff.

Woohoo! Scholarship with no bond! What a great deal!! I woke up still tipsy from the night before with a destroyed foot, for which i have no idea why it hurts so bad; checked my mail and saw the acceptance letter! I am really glad for this because firstly, I can never imagine I can manage to get a scholarship with my relatively atrocious grades, secondly, it is an offshore scholarship meaning only students from this selected few can apply for it. I guess maybe the rest of them already have a scholarship of some sort thus I am like the only applicant left, but who cares!? I get cash without a bond and that makes me happy. =D

Its been a pretty blissful week especially when friends come all the way here to visit me. Even the clouds played its part to make my Auschwitz trip more 'authentic' by being grey all day. Hope more people do come visit soon, if any.


Good things, are coming our way.

A story of innocence in a world of ignorance.

I am not much of a drinker, though much people think that i am.

Today, its 1 litre of Tyskie with half a bottle of Bushmills. I am really tipsy. But what I am feeling is kind of euphoria. Its joy beyond what I have felt. Joy beyond any restraints, probably what they say about when they start hallucinating? I cannot say for sure because I have never felt that way before; though I am looking for it. But what I can say now is that I feel joy, I really feel happy. Thinking about you, about things in life, about where I am now, about my life now. I feel joy. Not a tinge of sadness, in spite of the ever introspection, that can so often be mistaken as rumination.

I will not cheat myself to claim and just come clear by saying that I do at times think about sad things just to feel sad. That kind of loathsome self pity that can seem rather repulsive. Hidden behind the claims of self-thought and reflection. I try my best not to do that now, and am actually succeeding.

Yes, I find you amazing as always. God help me the day I wont. =D

It's not clear if reality slipped into my dream or if my dream is slopping over into reality.

Mr Grissom, do you believe in a separate living evil?

You're a primitive man in the Savannah. You see something move out of the corner of your eye. You assume its a hyena, you run, you live. If you assume its the wind and you're wrong, you die. We have the genes of the ones who ran. We're genetically hard wired to believe living forces we cannot see.


I do not really agree, yet it is without question that naturally selection does play a huge role in forming our society.

And so, I found a new song to learn. Now, to just be able to play and sing at the same time.

Should intent be used as the yardstick to determine one to be right or wrong? For the perpetrator that unknowingly does a good deed, his intentions were actually of pure evil. 

What do we really look at in the end? the eventual result or the initial thought. What really matters?

They say when you got it, you will automatically stop finding it, because it will feel right, perfect.

More often than not, when situation presents itself, we seem to settle. For timings are never right and we get tired of the charade we play with our lives. We convince ourselves eventually, this is the right one, the right thing, the real me. For those of us still confused, we ponder, question and wait. Upon whom?

Godot.

http://jasonmraz.com/news/2013/announcing-jasons-first-headlining-show-in-poland/

You have got to be kidding me.

If we all had cocoons.

Sometimes I miss my grandma. Its not that we had a particularly close relationship, but it was there nonetheless. We had her all the time because my father made a decision when he grew up to be the son to look after her, after years of tormenting her as a child. With that, I got to see her all the time in the house. She had her own room in the house, while i bunked with my brother. She looked after me when I was young, we had our fair share of fun.

I remember the smell of her room, that old person smell but more, especially the smell of johnson & johnson. She loved that brand of shampoo. For my entire 18 years I knew her, that was the only one she would use.

I remember that day, when I challenged her to a meal race, to see who can finish the first.
I choked.

I remember when always without fail, she will go for her morning walks, either to the market or the park. Sometimes I followed her; but that was a long long time ago.

I remember the time she pulled my mum from the window. Days later, she went over to my uncle's and that was when I started to see her less. I recall thinking, is that small travel bag all there is? I rarely  never visited her, lest festive seasons  Chinese New Year.

I remember seeing her grow thinner, smaller.

I remember her transferred to Dover Park Hospice. I never visited anyone from a hospice before, except for volunteer work, but even then you do not grow attached to them because it was probably just a one day event. I saw her laying there, it was late and she was asleep.
We held hands to pray for her recovery.

I remember that night in Tekong, my mum called. I told my officer. He gave me a choice; either leave now with a boat prepared within the hour or throw my jockey cap the next day with my fellow platoon mates and get priority access to the first boat the next day. I chose the latter.

I remember fending off the neighbourhood cats from the void deck. It was superstition that the spirit will not rest in peace.

I remember everyone looking away as the pallbearers came to take her away. It was bad luck to watch her go.
I watched. Every second of it.

I remember her slow moving away, closer and closer to the flames. The door closed.


If we all had cocoons, it will be our sanctuary, a place to let loose, grieve, love, to think. It will be our very own place.
My place.

I miss you grandma.

When you go up the hard way, its an easy ride down.


I got my ticket for the long way run
The one with the prettiest of views
It's got mountains
It's got river's
It's got sights to give you shivers
But it sure would be prettier with you

When I'm gone
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone

Sometimes the path not trodden was not supposed to be trodden.

I strayed off the hike path and lost the trail after a while. It was fun bashing through to my own path, but on hindsight, it was extremely dangerous. Not really on hindsight, I thought about myself falling with the rocks constantly whilst ascending the northern side of the hill; but I am glad I did not turn around halfway. For one, I do not see myself finding a way down from the way I came up from and secondly, I really wanted to go to the top.

But I am safe and sound! =D

Get the shot that nobody is willing to get.

“Basically,” he continues, “if you think of a girl as a bucket of sand, so you’ve got two buckets of sand, and you can’t really do much with two buckets and no spade. At least with two dudes, you’ve got, like… a different bucket for the spade?”

I fell off my seat.

The first song I heard from Jason Mraz was Life is Wonderful. Ever since, I was hooked up, down, left, right and center. I think this probably may be one of the only things or people I felt so strongly for; his music is beyond uplifting, it energizes, builds up faith and makes you feel that life is actually worth living. In almost every single song, he plays all power/bar chords, which if you ask any guitarist is a hand/wrist killer. Yet, he never stops smiling even after 3 hours of playing, BAR CHORDS. That positive vibe, is the very essence to his music.

I can watch it over and over again. Oh man, just unbelievable.

Cheers ;)

So yet another thing off the list, oh my, I should find more things to add to it before it gets exhausted. Tandem next up! When I have the money and time, I will definitely go for the AFF course.

To remember this experience, I shall attempt to immortalize it within words.

The ride up was beautiful, seeing the snow-covered city slowly expanding yet at the same time minimizing in size. At a certain height, I remembered blurting out, 'holy shit, that's high', only to hear a reply, 'oh, we are almost there. Just a little higher.'. I kept reminding myself to look straight to the mountains instead of down, but it was futile. Before I knew it, the instructor started to countdown, ' trih, dwa, jeden, BUNGEE!', and off I went. With my legs weighing like lead, I barely leapt off the platform and the rush of wind hit me. OH THE RUSH, WOOOSH! Never have I felt anything like that before. I saw the ground approaching so quickly and then I flipped and felt myself flying up into the air again. I think I loved this feeling more than anything, to be floating mid-air. Just weightlessness. Screams of jubilation escaped my mouth to the cheers of the few Polish uncles below.

At the end of it, the big burly instructor asked, 'so how did you find it?', all i could muster was, 'see you in spring.'

My arms turn wings
Oh those clumsy things
Send me up to that wonderful world
And then I'm up with the birds

I hope, by tomorrow this time, I can fully brag that I am a bungee jumper. Heh. That is if I do not shit my balls out first.

Visibility close to none, the only comfort I feel is the very room I am in, especially with the warmth of the radiator.

Needless to say, winter is best enjoyed indoors, holding a cup of tea, reading a book, listening to your favorite tunes. Comfort is ever welcoming. But it breeds laziness and can become mundane. Take your jacket, step out, brave the cold. Walk, skip, run, dance, twirl in the white landscape. Duck into underground pubs, scale the tower in the market square. Hands and feet at the verge of being frostbitten.

Eyes opened. Still a blur of white.

Oh dear sun, when will I see you again.

Another day another life
Passes by just like mine
It's not complicated

The praises I get for playing my guitar mean loads to me. It makes me proud of myself, to have had the discipline to at least sit down and really learn something. The occasional passer-by or acquaintances made along the trip, be it, 'nice playing, mate' or 'that was awesome yj!', they all become that extra push for me to improve myself; all the more because they come from random strangers who have no reason to sugarcoat their words. I doubt I will ever make it big in music, but I will play for people around me and that is enough. =)

I finally realize and can come to terms that emulating originals though may be an awesome feat, it might not sound as nice as you want it to since every singer is different. Thank you for telling me that.

A simple plot.
But I know one day,
Good things are coming our way.

Are your thoughts results of static cling?
Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault of faulty manufacturing

The people who made it all possible are often those that hide behind the scenes. They do not claim credit where credit is due, they just go about doing what they do best, to continue working.

I am thankful for my parents.


Today is also Ming Hong's birthday. We were close once, when we were young. I remember our badminton sessions together in lakeside with Thomas, Kenneth and Johnathan. The countless days we spent in class talking crap about random stuff. Failing tests together. Its really sad that you are no longer with us, life is cruel that way. 23 years is too short for anybody to live. I wish you all the best wherever you may be. Cancer may have taken you away from us, but it cannot erase our memories of you. Happy birthday.

A string quintet in a cathedral. Calming and soothing. Krakow is really beautiful. The kids are adorable, girls are pretty and guys are friendly.

This might be me in July. Haha. Without the snow of course.

24 March - Dublin, Josh Johnson
28 March - Dublin, Biffy Clyro & City and Color
30 Apr - Hamburg, Isbells and Marble Sound
5 June - Leicester, Olafur Arnalds
25 June - Warsaw, Sigur Ros
July 1(tentative date) - Opole, Wwoofing 3 weeks!

Now where do I slot in skydiving and bungee jumping? Quite looking forward to hiking in Ireland.

Absinth Depot Berlin.

Why do they have to have such wonderful places. Tell me where to go in Germany!

The image of the white-haired old man scavenging through the barely filled food court for scraps, remnants of others' dinners. With each passing table, his loot grew. Satisfied by the substantial amount of food he collected, he sits, gathered himself and prepared to feast.

Heart-wrenching to say the least. Watching him mash everything together, not bothered about taste or looks only concerned about eating his fill to survive yet another day. Oblivious to the world, he feasted like a king, savoring every last bit of his meal.

Two tables away, we were eating out of our family feast from KFC, hungry after a long bus ride back from Zakopane. Still, we could not finish it all. The last two drumlets would have been waste, thrown away without thought; but it became a proper dinner for the old man.

We do know we are privileged as Singaporeans but we rarely take advantage of that fact. It really does not take much to make another person's day.


Dreams should not be so vivid. Marred reality.

Ireland might be the best time yet. The perks of travelling on your own, its your time, your choices and your experiences.

To crunch gravel and dirt, its time to get a proper pair of shoes. Really psyched for it!

I do wish City and Colour will have more play-time than Biffy Clyro but we will see how it goes. =).

Ireland. Real soon.

It has been a busy weekend with 2 cities in 4 days, and school starting the day right after. As if it is not bad enough, I have to endure having 3 7.30am classes for the rest of the semester. The up-side is that I have lots of free afternoon time!

Somehow, we are approaching the end of February and with it the gradual passing of winter. Winter has always been a season of white, of cold and warm cozy settings, yet as I have come to understand it, it just consists of never-ending grey skies and gloom. Each speck of blue sky that appears, even for that one short moment, is a little spark of joy that warms the heart. Maybe that is how depression is suppose to feel like. The sun still lights up your universe, but its rays filtered through layers upon layers of gloomy clouds; day after day nothing really changes.

Barely slept last night, alternating between the same dream and staring into a black ceiling. It is a wonder how you can seamlessly fall back into the same dream and continue where you left off. A tape recorder that just plays and pauses as it pleases. Speaking of which, I should start practicing guitar again.

On the bus, headed towards Kielce. For the past 30 mins it has been jus plain white snowoutside of the window. With dishwalla singing 'i'm always going to worry about the things that could make us cold', yeah i worry too.

In the warmth of the bus, one can appreciate the beauty of white snow. Untainted, pure.

Durham had been fun! Ice skating in Newcastle, a first for me and I am pretty proud to say I did not fall! Heh. Still not able to skate gracefully but at least by the end of the 1 hr I was able to skate short distances, very short indeed. Day trip to Barnard's was perfect except for the fact that it was closed. But still managed to visit the quite majestic Bowes museum so it was not a wasted trip; also the small little cafe with music scores as wallpaper. Evlin was a wonderful host, hopefully I can repay that favor come mid-April.

Even though I do not classify myself as a frequent flyer, though I wish I were, of the many trips I have been to abroad, I have never been to any alone; like really alone. There was always a friend, a companion or an adult to at least 'depend' on. The first time that happened was right after my deferment from army, where I traveled straight to Cambodia and joined my friends in our short trip to explore Siem Reap and Vietnam after. Even then it was a mistake, more like misfortune, as I was suppose to set forth with them only to have my plans thwarted by the army. But then again, it was just an hour's flight and it was still close to home, somewhat. This time round, its another 2.5 hr flight from London to Krakow, thousands of miles away. Yet somehow there was no apprehension rather it was expectancy of whats to happen.

3 days on, it kind of feels I have been here for much longer than that. Just back from pub crawling, sadly some were closed which was kinda weird, but made new friends, both poles and non-poles. There was this Danish guy who seems to be in his 40s and he has a daughter; he is already a degree holder yet he is still pursuing one more and he fits in so well with the rest of us despite his age. Respect much.

Plans for the weekend all set. Off I go again!

Feb 10. Its been 32 days since I left sunny Singapore. As much as I love the cold winter, I sit here numb, wet because of the persistent rain that has been slowly trickling from above since I woke up. There barely is a cloudless day in England and to be able to see the sun pierce through that ever gloomy overcast is a blessing indeed. On one of those rare days, there was a beautiful clear blue sky scattered with the ever-so puffy white clouds in Salisbury; we headed off to the Stonehenge, but as if on cue, the grey blanket started to approach and evident from my pictures I've uploaded, one can see how quick the bright cheerful mood quickly darkens.

I'm not complaining. I've been truly blessed to have this opportunity to explore this half of the world, one which I'm sure even my own parents have not yet have the privilege to, yet they are ever so supporting. I have seen the beautiful in this world, both in nature as well as man-made.

Yet as this trip is drawing to a close within the week, weariness starts to seep in after days of fighting the battering wind and the constant moving around. Above all, I think the most horrendous thing is to lug this 23kg load all over the place but at least I saved 600 in shipping fees.

I really wanted to enjoy England's beautiful greenery and to be honest, winter is really not the time to enjoy such luxuries. Oh well, looking forward to the start of school, concentration camps, skiing on Zakopane, mixing around with students from across the globe and maybe even a short stint at wwoofing whilst at Poland? I found one or two farms already, just have to see my timetable first before pressing the 'yes' button.

I'm still considering what to do in July before heading back to Singapore.

Continue wwoofing?
Take my professor's advice to intern at Keppel? There is Keppel Velrome (Holland), Keppel Norway or Nakilat-Offshore and Marine(Qatar). Only issue is lodging though.
Continue touring Eastern Europe alone? Greece and Turkey seems absolutely delightful.

Each choice is a different direction in life that I wish to make some headway into and not forgetting, everything costs money.

"It seemed to me that she was lacerating her own wounds on purpose, feeling a need to do so - feeling a need for despair and suffering... And how often this happens with a heart that has suffered great loss!"

Oh the irony, the paradoxical existence of happiness lying within sadness. "Even torment from him is happiness". Most of us are guilty of such actions, myself included; to not try and forget or salve our wounds, be it sadness, anger or bitterness towards another, but rather seeking egoistic gratification in intensifying the pain. "lacerating her own wounds on purpose - feeling a need to do so - feeling a need for despair and suffering." We seek the temporal satisfaction of wallowing in our own problems at the same time delaying the true joy that lies ahead. Often hiding behind excuses of fear, yet it actually is shame. Our ego, unable to face up to our mistakes or accept the truth.

Until it ends up in this.

"'Vanya, why did I destroy your happiness?' And in her eyes I read, 'We could have been happy together forever.'"

It was a very good read. Not philosophical, not too complicated, just nice to start me off into his other books. It was definitely heart-wrenching.

So maybe its possible to tear over a book.


"But you're a poet, and I'm a simple man, and therefore I will say that one must look at things from the simplest, most practical point of view. I, for instance, have long since freed myself from all shackles, and even obligations. I only recognize obligations when I see I have something to gain by them. You, of course, can't look at things that way; your legs are in fetters and your taste is morbid. You long for the ideal, for virtue. Well my friend, I am ready to accept anything you command me to accept, but what am I to do if I know for a fact that at the root of all human virtues lies the profoundest egoism? And the more virtuous anything is, the more egoism there is in it. Love yourself - that's the one rule i recognize"

Fyodor Dostoevsky


I for one, agree with it. As a simple man, one should and will look at things from the simplest and most practical point of view. Alas, the world we live in is not simple, and neither are the people that dwell upon it.

Almost totally forgot about the connection between London and Guy Fawkes, kind of cool that I now know where he was brought to be tortured. But his execution was truly gruesome.

With my current craze revolving around Hell's Kitchen, it was a spontaneous idea to try to locate one of his restaurants in his hometown, London! Coincidentally, I managed to find one near to St Paul's cathedral which we were gonna visit anyway. This despite knowing it probably will be quite expensive, but I still wanted to go. Just to take a look.



Quite disheartened to see so many friends sad and going through a tough period in their lives. Ears cannot hear words that are not spoken and I am very much willing to listen to anyone if they need a listening ear. I so do wish to hear anyone out.

Oh, if this little light of mine
combined with yours today.
How many watts could we luminate?